I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
