the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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