how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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