dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
