I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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