Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize