Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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