I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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