How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
