I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
