There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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