You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
