i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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