i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize