you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
