that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
