i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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