her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
