Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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