There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Alive.
So much puke
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
