check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
