i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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