why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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