You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
