YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
