I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
