yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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