Yo dont text me then not text me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
