he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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