the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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