I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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