I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
