youre lurking in front of me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
