You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
