No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
