I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
