He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
