you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
