Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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