Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
