i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize