i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
