She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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