at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
