So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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