Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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