3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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