Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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