Well apparently he's into motor boating.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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