If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
