I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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