carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
