Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
