Only a mothe r could love this liver
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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