just tell him i said nine months
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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